We first met Pastor John, (not his real name), in July of 2005 when his mother heard us preaching at a nursing home, enjoyed what she heard, and invited us to come guest- preach at her son’s church.
That started a relationship between us and Pastor John which lasted for many years. His mother would call us up out of the clear blue on a Saturday night and invite us to preach on Sunday night.
And we would always go.
Then one night after we were done preaching, Pastor John told us that he was having marital problems, and needed someone to talk to. We listened patiently, and then advised him to draw closer to God than ever before- and God would see him through. He took our advice, and God worked out his problems!
Pastor John now seemed happy- all was going well for him.
But then the problems started again, and this time his grown children got involved in his marital mess, took sides with their mom, and left the church to attend religious services elsewhere. And this tore his heart out.
So he came to us again- sad and upset, and again we advised him to seek the Lord- to draw closer to God, and God would draw closer to him, as stated in:
James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you…(“nigh” means- near.)
Pastor John drew close to God again, and this time God opened a spot for him to preach on the local radio station 5 days a week. The Pastor told us that his heart was in that radio program. He loved preaching on the radio, and said that he felt like he had finally found his place in life.
He appeared to be happy, but told us that he would never get over his children leaving the church. The hurt was just too deep.
We had not seen Pastor John for a few months, when last year, out of the clear blue, his mom called us and asked us to come preach the next night. So we did.
The Pastor seemed sad and distanced from God that night, so we preached about reviving your love for the Lord! And when we saw him a few weeks later, he was on fire for God again!
He admitted to us that he had backslidden, but assured us that he would never do it again. He told us that living for God was all that he cared about now- and he seemed like a different person. (We did notice, however, that he never mentioned his children or his marriage anymore- and we also noticed that he spent a lot of time away from home.)
We listened to him on the radio and sent him a note of encouragement when he asked the listeners to do that. We also called him from time to time to let him know how much we enjoyed the message that he had just preached.
And then he was off the radio; just as quickly as he had started preaching, he was gone. And we didn’t know what had happened to him.
8 whole months went by without a phone call from Pastor John’s mom asking us to come preach.
And then, two days ago, we received a phone call from someone who knew Pastor John. The caller informed us that Pastor John had shot himself through the heart earlier in the day, and was dead.
The news was shocking, and we were understandably devastated.
WHY…WHY…WHY?!
Why would someone who loved God so much want to die?
We never will know the answer to that question.
But know this- the devil is raging all around us, and he is tormenting people as much as he can. It is his job to destroy marriages, relationships, jobs, homes, and anything else that he can get his evil, wicked hands on. But he especially wants to destroy people’s lives.
So here is our advice:
- Please, please, please give a BIG HUG- TODAY, RIGHT NOW- to your child(ren), husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, sister, brother, mother, father, or anyone else that you care about. (If they don’t live nearby, call them- or send them a letter or an email) and tell them this:
I LOVE YOU!!!
Do this NOW- later may be too late. Your loved one(s) may not be here later- because perhaps they thought that no one loved them; or perhaps because the heartbreak of someone that they love being hateful to them was too much for them to bear. And they will end up like Pastor John did.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Ephesians 4:27 Neither give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26 tells us to not go to bed angry. If you do, rest assured that your anger will fester during the night, and you will wake up even angrier in the morning than you were the night before.
And verse 27 above warns us to not let the devil have a foothold in our lives. When we do- he will convince us that things are hopeless, that they will NEVER get better, and that NO ONE cares about us. And we will end up dead- either physically, or spiritually.
We haven’t heard from Pastor John’s mom since last year, but she called us tonight- this time to see if we could come to her son’s funeral.
If you are feeling sad and hopeless- and think that no one loves you, please call out to Jesus for help. Ask Him to forgive you of your sins, and to be your Lord and Savior. He will come to live in your heart, and He will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life- as long as you continue to live for Him.
Please be assured that someone DOES love you… and THAT someone is Jesus Christ! In fact, He loves you so much that He shed his precious, sinless blood so that YOUR sins could be forgiven- as stated in the following scripture:
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
But whatever you do- DON’T kill yourself. Those you leave behind will be devastated. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering if they could have said or done something to help you. And they will blame themselves for your death.
Finally, if you need someone to talk to- in person, please feel free to call us anytime at 704-678-7265. (Please leave a message if we don’t answer and we will call you back.)
Sometimes it just helps when you are feeling lonely to hear a friendly voice on the other end of the phone. A voice that will tell you: “Jesus loves you and so do we!”
Now GO hug that loved one!